A half hour into healer Patricia Sun’s lecture, a man arrived and announced, “I came in late, would you please tell me what happened?” This interruption seemed rather rude, considering that Patricia had spent time developing her theme for a thousand eager listeners. But Patricia did not play the judgment game; she smiled at the man and told him, “I love you, that’s what happened.” Patricia paused for a moment for him to receive the gift; then he replied, “Thank you,” and sat down.
The man was not really seeking information, but love and acknowledgment. He felt left out and wanted to be included. Giving him the love he sought cut past the game he was playing to get it, and everyone was served to observe the gift Patricia gave him.
One of the most powerful ways to deal with irritating behavior is to reinterpret is as a call for love. I am fascinated by teenagers who drive up and down city streets blasting car stereos so loud that one can hardly carry on a conversation within a hundred feet. With each passing year, the speakers grow larger, now to a point where many of these aficionados have removed their back seats to fit in two giant speakers.
When I hear one of these cars passing, I translate the gross noise into, “Please pay attention to me! Please listen to me! Please know that I am here!” I am certain that a sociological study would reveal these car owners to be children who have felt unseen and unheard by their parents or society.
If we gave our kids more love and attention at home, they would not need to buy huge speakers to demand attention from the world.
The next time someone asks you for attention in an inappropriate way, stop, take a breath, and sincerely tell them, “I love you".
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