Hatred

Pretending that painful or negative feelings do not exist doesn't keep relationships more intimate.

Rather, we can actually create inner distance when we act as if our intimate relationships are not strong enough to hold any pain, anger or hate.

Powerful feelings can be frightening, but to deny their presence keeps us from the deeper layers of ourselves.

When our intimate relationships are able to hold these powerful, paradoxical feelings of love and hate, anger and forgiveness, then something deep within us allows us to relax and let go.

If we are not able to do this, then perhaps we may need to withdraw from the relationship, so as to once again become ourselves.

In this era of self-understanding and conscious efforts at parenting, we learn we should not come down to our children's level. That is, we should not be as hateful toward them as they are to us. Yet, if we seal ourselves off they are cheated and burdened by the illusion that anger and hatred are personally inappropriate. Therapists are like parents. When the therapist comes down to their level, both grow from it when the generation gap is reestablished. ~ David V. Keith