While waiting at a stoplight, I found myself next to a thrift-store truck transporting donated clothing and household goods. On the side of the truck, a huge sign suggested, “If It’s Not Becoming to You, It Should Be Coming to Us. ”
Every person or thing in this world has a purpose and a right place. If you are using and enjoying what you have, then bless it. If it is not working for you or if you don’t use it, pass it on, it has more value elsewhere.
(In the second to last paragraph you'll find an analogy relating to work/career which may in fact resonate more easily with many rather than the next paragraph. And that's ok)
Personally, this resonates with me more through a relationship analogy. Sometimes we may find things no longer work, but we try to hold onto it (sometimes desperately) for very selfish reasons. We, of course, do not see these reasons as selfish, we convince ourselves either through ego or fear that our reasons are justified.
I suggest we ask ourselves if these grips we have on what we feel is 'ours' are in fact based in insecurity; are they truly beneficial or are our grips indeed selfish? Take a step back, look at the bigger picture. Are we really happy, or are we just holding onto that something special because we are just too pig-headed to see the truth? Whether it be an old item, an old pattern, an old habit, an old job or an old relationship, we need to be honest about what it is we hold close so tightly. Perhaps this item, habit, pattern, job or relationship is in fact no longer what we need, want, or use. Perhaps it has lost it's value or may not even work anymore?
Many relationships are in a constant disarray, but they still 'stick it through'. It always facinates me as to the various reasons "why?" when asked. "...because I like/love him/her, ...they/he/she are/is not really that bad, ...every relationship has thier ups and downs, ...all relationships take work..."
But do they?
Do they really need to take so much work? Isn't it suppose to be easy, fluent, and without effort? Isn't connection a feeling, and not a task?
Perhaps I'm a dreamer, but the message resonates - if the relationship is not "becoming" to you, then let it go so that it may be received elsewhere with love. Perhaps it is not working for a reason? Instead of trying to hold on to something out of desperation, set if free, perhaps it's not yours to hold onto.
Personally, this resonates with me more through a relationship analogy. Sometimes we may find things no longer work, but we try to hold onto it (sometimes desperately) for very selfish reasons. We, of course, do not see these reasons as selfish, we convince ourselves either through ego or fear that our reasons are justified.
I suggest we ask ourselves if these grips we have on what we feel is 'ours' are in fact based in insecurity; are they truly beneficial or are our grips indeed selfish? Take a step back, look at the bigger picture. Are we really happy, or are we just holding onto that something special because we are just too pig-headed to see the truth? Whether it be an old item, an old pattern, an old habit, an old job or an old relationship, we need to be honest about what it is we hold close so tightly. Perhaps this item, habit, pattern, job or relationship is in fact no longer what we need, want, or use. Perhaps it has lost it's value or may not even work anymore?
Many relationships are in a constant disarray, but they still 'stick it through'. It always facinates me as to the various reasons "why?" when asked. "...because I like/love him/her, ...they/he/she are/is not really that bad, ...every relationship has thier ups and downs, ...all relationships take work..."
But do they?
Do they really need to take so much work? Isn't it suppose to be easy, fluent, and without effort? Isn't connection a feeling, and not a task?
Perhaps I'm a dreamer, but the message resonates - if the relationship is not "becoming" to you, then let it go so that it may be received elsewhere with love. Perhaps it is not working for a reason? Instead of trying to hold on to something out of desperation, set if free, perhaps it's not yours to hold onto.
Ok, now onto the safe analogy:
I once accepted a job with great opportunity for growth and potentially valuable lessons and rewards. I was not happy there. For months I guilt-tripped myself for wanting to leave, and rationalized all sorts of reasons why I should stay. Egotistically, I believed I was doing a better job than anyone else could, and if I left, the company would be bereft. Finally, I got sick and realized I would rather leave and take my chances than wither in the position. The moment I gave notice, I felt free, healthy, and alive again. Later when I spoke to ex-colleagues I realized the the person who filled the vacancy was doing a far better job than I ever did. Out of guilt, I was stealing her job from her and withholding my right work from myself!
We learn through experience to vow to participate in only those career and social situations that are becoming to us; if not, to let them “be coming ” to someone else.
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